


Cross Walks and Crossed Hearts

by goddess_julie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Porn, F/F, Genderswap, Oral Sex, Pining Zayn, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, girl!Harry, girl!Liam - Freeform, girl!Niall, girl!Zayn, girl!direction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-22 00:16:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2487449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddess_julie/pseuds/goddess_julie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn is in love with her best friend's ex girlfriend.  She knows it's wrong and that it goes against every code of friendship, but she can't help it.  Liam is everything she's wanted and knows she can't have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cross Walks and Crossed Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Moar girl!direction, with dude!Louis. I'm obsessed with genderswap now and don't even know where this came from. Started writing and then boom... knee deep in angsty, filthy smutty girl!Ziam. Hope you like!! Not brit picked, all mistakes are my own. Feedback is always welcome. xo

Zayn knows that it's part of some bro code that you don't hook up with your best friend's ex-girlfriend. It's just a really shitty thing to do, especially when it ends badly. And she's certain that it did end badly because Louis won't tell her about what was said, why they decided after three years to call it quits and he has practically erased every memory of their life together from his world. She's told him time and time again that when he's ready to talk about it, when he’s ready to get it all out she'll be there to listen to him. Every time she does, he just tells her to let it go and changes the subject.

Which kind of isn't fair because Liam was her friend too. Zayn was the one who introduced Liam and Louis to one another and suggested that they go out. And in the break up, it was made clear by all parties involved that she was to choose Louis' side. She'd been his friend first and it was bad enough he'd lost Liam, he couldn't lose her too.

Zayn wanted to argue that she could separate the two from one another, that she could maintain separate friendships with each of them, but they both had told her it wasn't fair to any of them if she did. She wanted to argue that they were the ones being unfair, that they were both selfish, but as she sat in the back row of her Culture and Society lecture, the course that she and Liam had decided to take together because it fit with their schedules, it was mainly based on comics and comic culture, it was an elective for both of their programmes and it gave them time to hang out alone, just the girls, she realized that they might have been right about her inability to remain objective.

Liam sat up at the front with a girl they'd met in their first few weeks in the class. Her name is Niall; she has gorgeous blonde hair that is always streaked with different colours, pulled back in a snapback cap. Liam had confessed that if Louis got to keep Zayn all of the time, she should at least get Niall for classes. Zayn had grudgingly agreed, afraid to tell her that they could still sit together for classes just as long as neither of them told Louis. But it felt too much like lying, both to herself and to her best friend so Zayn forfeited. Liam would still sit with Niall and Zayn sat at the back of the class, staring holes into the back of Liam's head.

What bothered her most was that Liam didn't even seem to miss her. That all of the time they'd spent together, both with Louis and alone, meant nothing to her. Like Zayn was an extension of Liam's relationship with Louis and nothing more, and when that relationship ended, so did theirs.

Zayn fought to think back at when exactly she began to think of her friendship with Liam as a relationship. Sometimes, when she was drunk and maudlin, or high and particularly reflective, she let herself admit that what she felt for Liam was more than just friendly. That somehow she wished Liam had have gone on the date with Louis and realized it was Zayn she should date, not him. After their first anniversary, Zayn figured she needed to give up on the hopes that Liam would change her mind and see Zayn watching her, longing for her.   
Falling hopelessly in love with her.

Liam was sweet, affectionate and the loveliest person Zayn had ever met. Football was religion to her, hence Zayn's insistence that she meet Louis. But at the same time, she was obsessed with comic books and super heroes. She was quite literally the perfect girl, and Zayn held out hope that even though she'd dated blokes in the past, she wasn't closed to the idea of dating a girl. More specifically Zayn.

If she was going to be honest with herself, she didn't know how much she felt until much later in Louis and Liam's relationship. It was one day when Liam had been sick and hadn't made it to class, leaving Niall and Zayn alone. Ten minutes into their workshop for the day, Niall had turned to her and asked her "Does Payne know you're hot for her?"

Zayn must have looked shocked because Niall had laughed and shook her head. 

"Did you know you're hot for Payne?"

Niall had outlined in detail how she'd recognized it from the second they'd met. She'd been surprised to find out that Liam was dating Zayn's best friend and had been for over two years, but kept her observations to herself. Only then did she say to Zayn, 'you're so arse over tit for her I'm surprised she hasn't seen your girl boner poking her in the forehead."

"Get bent Nailler," was all Zayn could respond with as she blushed and covered her face with her hair.

"You'd like to get Payno bent. Over a table," Niall chuckled as she thread their fingers together, holding Zayn's hand affectionately. When Zayn's pulse started to slow Niall leaned in and knocked their shoulders together. "I'm sorry Zaynie. Must be hard."

Zayn wanted to make a joke but saw the genuine remorse in Niall's eyes and she frowned, letting out a deep sigh.

"Thanks."

That had been about six weeks ago. Three weeks before Liam and Louis had broken up. Zayn was still not sure who had officially ended it, as neither was talking about it. Both seemed too miserable from it for her to deduce which could have wanted it over bad enough to break up.

As Niall turns around to flash her a hesitant wave and shy smile, Zayn breaks from the daydream she's been locked in since sitting down. She gives a short wave back but doesn't smile. That causes Niall to frown which has Liam turning around to meet her eyes. Liam must see her own hard expression and she frowns, more out of sadness than anything. The moment the class is over Zayn watches Liam pick up her backpack and run from the room without even affording Niall a goodbye. Zayn doesn't stop the eye roll in response.

"How're ya holdin' up Zaynie?" NIall asks, approaching slowly.

"You allowed to talk to me? Is that part of the agreement, only when Leeyum isn't around?"

Zayn watches Niall's eyes harden and her lips turn into a scowl.

"Don't be a cunt," she growls.

"Fuck you." This feels good, the anger. Niall is most definitely not the person who should be on the other end of it, but she can't be this angry at Louis or Liam for fear of everything blowing up in her face. 

The sad expression on Niall's face makes her angrier.

"Don't you dare fucking pity me Niall, I don't need it. Fuck you for your pity. You don't know anything about what this is like."

"Well then tell me Zayn? Tell me how hard this is for you? Your relationship with your boyfriend of three years isn't over. You didn't lose your best friend. You don't have to see your best friend and your ex moving on as if you didn't matter."

Zayn's eyes widen and the anger she’d felt before wasn't anything close to how mad she is now. How furious Niall's words are making her.

"How dare you," she spits out as she stands. Her backpack is over her shoulders in one fell swoop and she turns so fast her hair whips against Niall's cheek. "You have no fucking clue how hard this is for me. How I don't know anything except that Louis and Liam aren't together anymore and that I'm not allowed to talk to either of them about the other. How my best friend sits around our flat like a piece of his heart has been ripped out and the girl who I thought I was best friends with has decided it's too hard for her to make me choose so she chose for me. That she chose to cut me out of her life because it's too hard. That I wasn't worth anything once she wasn't with Louis anymore."

Through her anger, she sees Niall's cheeks go red, an apologetic wince accompanying guilty eyes. 

"And how I love him more than anything, but I'm in love with her and I can't be. How I want what they had and a piece of me is glad they're done and how horrible a person that makes me? So fuck you. Maybe I'm a cunt but you don't get to judge me when you have no god damned clue what is going on."

Zayn can't do it anymore. She can't be there and just throw up every feeling she's been hiding for so long, some even buried so deep she didn't realize herself how she felt. Blindly, through her tears, she navigates out of the lecture hall and through the campus until she finds herself at a familiar door. 

She knocks three times, waiting for the door to open. When it does she throws herself into the arms of the girl standing before her.

"Zee," a soft voice whispers against the side of her hair. "What's wrong love?" 

Zayn pulls back and stares into bright green eyes that are filled with concern. Harry's long curly hair is pulled back into a messy pony tail and she's wearing a pair of shorts and a thin tank top. Unable to speak, Zayn simply whimpers before breaking out into heaving sobs, her whole body wracked with the force of them. She lets Harry pull her in and take her backpack from her shoulders. Once she's kicked her boots off and thrown her leather jacket on the floor, Harry has her curled up on the bed, their bodies crushed together in a tight embrace.

She vaguely hears Harry speaking to someone else in the room and didn't even realize they weren't alone. Zayn listens to the other voice, most likely Nick, Harry's boyfriend who has told her that he'll go and get them something to eat and drink and be back in a bit. When they're alone, Harry focuses her attention back onto Zayn who is still sobbing into her chest.

They lie there together, Harry holding Zayn as she cries until finally exhaustion wins out and Zayn passes out, legs tangled with Harry and her hair being stroked lovingly while the other girl whispers endearments to the top of her head.

When Zayn regains consciousness she knows immediately it's not Harry who she's tangled with. Her body is stiff, yet she feels warm and cocooned and it takes one peek through her swollen eyelids to see it's Nick who has taken Harry's place. When he sees that she's awake there is no awkwardness. He only offers her a kind smile and a press of his lips to the top of her head.

"Hello poppet, feel better?"

Zayn feels her eyes water and she thinks she might start to cry again. At her reaction, Nick looks like he's about to panic and he starts to shake his head. "Awww fuck, no love. Please, don't cry. I promised Harry I would take care of you and if you cry, she'll have my balls. It's okay love. God, please don’t cry on me."

Zayn can't focus on her own miserable life when she sees Nick so utterly lost. She tightens her hold on him and hugs him as she wills the tears to stop. They do and she can feel his sigh of relief. She gives him a watery smile as his panic seems to lessen.

"Where did Haz go?" She asks voice scratchy. Nick reached over to grab her a glass of water that was on the night stand and she drains it, dehydrated by the amount of crying she's done.

Nick shrugs in response. "Don't know do I? She said 'take over Zayn watch and make sure you don't make her cry. I'll be back in a mo. That was two hours ago."

Zayn jerks in surprised, unsure of what time it was. With a glance to her watch she saw it was after dinner, she'd slept a lot longer than she'd expected. Before she could get up, she felt Nick hold on to her tighter as if to tell her she wasn't going anywhere and he flicked the TV on with the remote control by the nightstand.

"Now you're up, we can watch Next Top Model. I have the past few weeks saved and haven't seen it. Harry says you love it, so we'll watch that." He hasn’t left her room for argument and she just decides to go with it, prolong thinking about anything for at least a little while longer.

They're on their second episode when Harry returns. She looks flawless in a pair of skin tight jeggings, a long sweater and a scarf around her neck. Her cheeks are pink and a grin has taken up her whole face. Her arms are laden with bags of take away, making both Nick and Zayn reach out to make grabby hands at her.

All she says when they ask her where she's been was that she 'had shit to do,' and that she spoke with Lou and let him know that Zayn was gonna kip with them tonight.

The next morning when Zayn wakes up, Harry and Nick are nowhere to be found. Instead, Louis is in their place, snoring lightly beside her.

"The fuck Tommo?" She groans as she shoves him so hard he falls off the bed. "When did you get here?"

"Excuse you very much," Louis whines, rubbing his elbow which he had knocked upon his fall. "S' the last time I worry about you."

Zayn stretches out and lets him curl up beside her again. "Why were you worried?"

"First Liam calls me in a panic needing to talk. She was having a right strop about something and told me to meet her at that coffee shop you two used to always go to. And then when I finally calm her down, I get a text from Harold asking me where I am because she needs to sort a few things out with me. "

Her eyes are wide and Zayn is instantly sitting up, curling herself into a ball in the middle of the bed. Louis reaches in to comfort her and she can't help but scramble away, making herself even smaller. "W...what?"

"Yeah, she said you showed up here in full break down mode. She'd never seen you like that before and worst was you couldn't stop crying long enough to talk to her and tell her what was wrong. She thought something was wrong with me or your family, and...” Louis' voice was soft, hurt evident as he spoke. Zayn can see how upset he is, how scared and nervous he was and she felt her whole body shake.

"Lou?" She whispers softly. "I just ...I'm sorry."

"I don't know what's going on. I know what Liam told me and Harry didn't really tell me anything other than you were crying so hard you could barely breathe and then you finally fell asleep and she's never been so worried about someone. Or heart-broken because you were just so sad and she couldn't do anything to help you."

Zayn blinks back the tears that are forming in her eyes. She takes a deep breath and looks Louis square in the eyes.

"What did Liam have to say?"

She sees Louis bite his lip, the way he does when he's so nervous he doesn't know what to do with himself. His eyes flicker all over the room to finally land on hers. "She said she'd rushed out of Culture yesterday. That she saw Niall look back and wave and then when she looked back you looked so broken, so sad."

Zayn blinks, resting her face on her arms which were wrapped around her legs. She has to focus on breathing in and out, letting Louis speak.

"And she got up and ran out, but then she felt guilty. So she went back, but as she got there she heard you and Niall fighting. She heard Niall call you a cunt and then you yelling at Niall and... Did she hear right? Are you in love with Liam, Zee?"

She can only nod her head. The time for denying it is long since passed. If Louis is mad at her for this, she's going to have to deal with the repercussions of it, along with everything else. It doesn’t stop her from curling further into herself, and holding her breath to wait for Louis’ reaction.

"Oh Zayn," Louis ignores her body language which clearly says 'don't touch me' to pull her into his arms. "I'm so sorry."

She's so surprised; his reaction is so unexpected that Zayn allows him to pull her close. Before she can process it, she's crying again as she clutches onto Louis as he rocks her back and forth whispering against her hair. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. Why did I not know?"

"Uhhh… maybe because you two were fucking dating and in love for three years?" Zayn choked out through her tears. "Because she's fucking straight. Because it doesn't matter?" 

Louis pulls her face from where it's buried in his throat and he wipes her eyes before tucking her hair behind her ears. "Of course it matters Zee."

"She made it perfectly clear now that you're over she's done with me too."

Louis interrupts her with a kiss to her forehead. "This is my fault Zayner. I'm sorry. I really, I just couldn't talk about it. I didn't want you to think less of either of us and just ... never thought that... I didn’t think about how it would affect you." Zayn watches Louis take a deep breath. He shakes his head and gives her an apologetic smile. "Don't get me wrong, I love Liam. I think I always will, and once we get over not being together proper, I know we'll be good friends again."

Zayn was completely lost at his confession.

"We just, we fell in love with other people. And I think we stayed together so long because it was easy. We were easy together."

"What are you saying?" Zayn asks, softly.

"Liam and I, our break up wasn't this big fight. It wasn't a culmination of a lot of things and ended with a bang. It just, it was time. We'd gotten too comfortable with each other and we were just resenting each other and ourselves until finally we sat down and discussed it. I felt bad because I'd fallen in love with someone else and was afraid to tell her. I didn't want to hurt her, but was hurting us both by lying."

"And?" Zayn takes a deep breath as she licks her lips. She tightens her hold on Louis' hand as she listens to him.

"I realized I should have been honest from the start. I forgot that as much as I know her, she knows me. She knew. She knew I was in love with someone and...."

"Was she mad?" Zayn couldn't help but be a little angry at Louis. He had Liam, the girl she'd been in love with for longer than she even really knew and she wasn't enough for him. Maybe they'd been right to not tell her why they'd broken up, she wouldn't want to choose sides, especially against Louis but she wasn't sure she could have stood behind him if he'd cheated on her.

"No," Louis’s confession is soft, his voice low. He chuckles at the way her eyes widen in surprise. "I was surprised too. I thought she'd have had me by my bits. But she said deep down she knew. Just like I did."

"Like you did? What does that mean?"

Louis shrugs as though it’s clear. "Like I knew she was in love with someone else. Not that she would have admitted it to me, hell, I don't think she'd really admitted it to herself."

Zayn was suddenly exhausted. Her head is spinning and while she is relieved that Louis and Liam hadn't ended in an epically horrible explosion of hearts, she can admit to herself that she is devastated that Liam was in love with someone. IS in love with someone. 

It’s just another person that wasn't her. Louis must have been able to see the emotion on her face and pulls her close.

"I wish you could have told me how you felt, babe," he whispered into her ear. "I'm sorry."

Zayn shook her head, swallowing down the lump in her throat. "I'm sorry. I just ... I just couldn't help but fall in love with her. And it's not ... I didn’t want to hurt you."

"You two need to talk, Zee. You need to clear this all up."

"S'pretty clear to me Loubear," Zayn sighed into his chest. "She heard me talking to Niall, she didn't come in. Didn't confess her feelings. Didn't say anything. Probably glad you got me in the divorce, now she doesn't have to worry about me pining for her." Suddenly, Louis' earlier words triggered something in Zayn's mind. "Fuck, you're in love with someone? What the actual fuck?"

Louis laughed as he began tickling Zayn playfully. "Caught on to that have you?"

"Who is it?" Zayn gasps for breath. "Ew, it's not me is it?"

"Fuck you very much," Louis answers haughtily. "No, it's not you. I'm a proper catch Ms. Malik, you should remember that."

For the first time since the afternoon before, Zayn felt a genuine laugh bubble from deep inside of her chest. She snuggled closer to Louis as he wrapped his arms around her. 

"I know Loubear. Just not a catch I'm fishing for, I'm afraid. But who is she?" Zayn watched Louis blush and she cackled, loving the uncomfortable expression on his face.

"Eleanor? You know her? In my advanced academic counselling course? We were partnered on something last year and stayed friends. I just ... I love her Zee, different from how I felt about Liam and that scares me, because ... I love Liam babe, I do. I just, I've never felt like this."

Zayn kissed Louis on the cheek as she hugs him. "I'm glad love. How does she feel about you?"

"Well, she ... we might have been dating without realizing we were dating for a bit, which was why I ended up having my talk with Liam and. Yeah. Nothing happened until after I broke it with Li, but ... now that I've spoken with you... and had that talk with Li last night, El and I want to take it public. We wanna be together and have everyone know and just..."

"You deserve it Lou," Zayn admits honestly. "I don't want to see either of you hurt."

And deep down, that was the heart of it. She loved both Louis and Liam too much to want either of them to hurt. Finding out that their split was amicable took a giant weight off of her shoulders, but it made reaching out to Liam nearly impossible.

~*~*~*~  
As much as she didn’t want to avoid Liam it was the easiest way for her to cope with her feelings. Thankfully, or unfortunately depending on how you looked at it, Liam was avoiding Zayn just as actively. It wasn't until Zayn was sitting with Harry in her favourite coffee shop that she was face to face with Liam for the first time since that day at the end of class.

Liam who had walked in with a smile on her face and a spring in her step. Liam who appeared to be on a date. With a girl.

Zayn's heart was in her throat; her skin turned a pale white as she tried to calm her racing pulse.

"Zee, you okay?" Harry asked, seeing the devastated look on her friend’s face.

Zayn could only shake her head. She was not even close to being okay; she may never be okay again. With a trembling hand, she brought her coffee cup to her mouth, taking a sip just for something to do with her hands.

The moment Liam saw her and their eyes met, Zayn was sure time had stood still. All the air was sucked out of her lungs and she felt nauseous. She watched Liam look down nervously before following the girls she was with to a table in the back. 

"I need to get out of here," Zayn whispered to Harry. She apologized as grabbed her bag, affording one more glance in the corner before exiting into the afternoon sun.

Zayn missed the way Liam watched her with a frown. The sad expression Harry flashed the two girls in the corner and the text that Harry sent in her absence. When she got home, Louis was on his way out. She put on a fake smile and passed him, promising she'd see him when he got back from his class and they'd have dinner. He hadn't even given her a second look and for that she was grateful. This was her issue, her problem to deal with and she didn't want him to get involved.

A knock at the door a few hours later startled Zayn out of the slumber she'd fallen into on the couch. With a crick in her neck, Zayn got up and stretched as she went to answer the door. Nothing could have prepared her for Liam standing on the other side, looking lost and desperate.

"What are you doing here?" Zayn asked flatly. She ignored the fluttering in her stomach and the way Liam's face fell at her greeting.

"I need to talk to you."

"Lou will be home soon and we're meant to have dinner. Maybe another time."

Zayn moved to shut the door, stopped only by Liam's foot wedging in. "Zee? Please?"

"Leeyum, I can't do this okay." Zayn pleaded. She was standing behind the door, her face masked by the wood. She gave a startled jump when she felt Liam's hands cover hers on the frame.

"Just let me speak? Let me say what I came to say and if you still can't, I'll leave. I promise."

The thing about Liam was that Zayn knew she was being completely honest. If Zayn truly wanted her to leave, she would go. She wouldn't put up a fight; she wouldn't do something to directly upset someone, even if it meant hurting herself. And if Zayn was correct, Liam's lower lip would be puffed out, as though she was pouting while her eyes were sad and droopy. When she let herself glance around the door, she saw exactly that and knew she couldn't deny this girl anything.

"Fine. Come in."

"But you're not happy about it," Liam finished, knowing Zayn's train of thought.

"Far from it."

They each took their spot on the couch. Previously they sat with Louis between them, or at least they had when Liam was still dating Louis, but now it was more awkward than they ever could have imagined. She kept looking at the clock as though willing it to hurry up so Louis could indeed come home and play buffer between them.

"He's not coming home," Liam confessed with an apologetic shrug. "He told me you'd be here and that I would have you all to myself without any interruptions. He and El were going to some film she wants to see and... s'just us."

Zayn couldn't hide the groan that escaped. She felt bad if not just for how miserable it seemed to make Liam. That wasn't what she wanted, she just needed to protect her own heart. At any cost.

"Lou told me you two talked. That he told you why we broke up."

Zayn nodded. "I had no idea.”

"I thought he'd have told you already. I thought you knew."

Zayn shrugged. "No." She watched Liam struggle with words and pull nervously on her pony tail which sat high on her head. "I thought it would be easier if you stayed friends with him. You're his world Zayn, and I didn't want ... I didn't want to take that from him because we didn't work out. And I thought that if you hated me, if you didn't want anything to do with me that would make it easier for me."

"Why would I hate you?" Zayn tries to hide the sadness in her voice but knows she’s failed. "I didn't understand why you couldn't stand to be around me after and figured it was because you missed him so much and I reminded you of him. Like now that you two were done, we were done."

Liam shook her head emphatically. "No, god Zayn that wasn't it." 

"Are you sure? Because I don't see you knocking down doors for my attention now. I see you leaving rooms when I get there. I see you deciding who and when we can be friends so we have the least amount of face time. I see you doing what you can to erase me from your life. Fuck, from what I hear you're already talking to Louis again like before you two were together, so clearly the problem is me."

Zayn watches Liam crumble and her shoulders shake from the tears in her eyes and soft sobs coming from her chest. "The problem," she sobs weakly. "Has always been me Zayn Malik."

The air between them crackled the mood thick. 

"What?" Watching Liam cry was breaking Zayn’s heart. She never wanted this, she would never want Liam to be this upset over anything, especially something she’s said or done.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" Liam asks softly as she interrupts Zayn’s train of thought. "How confident and smart and brilliant you are? Do you know how you affect people without even realizing it?"

Zayn shook her head, there was no way she was hearing this. She feels so lost in this conversation, like they are having two different conversations. She watches Liam give a self-deprecating laugh. 

"And there I am, dating Louis. One minute my world is the way I've always known it, the next I see you, walking around the flat in that white tank top and those yellow shorts that Harry loaned you that barely cover your arse and all I can think about is how gone I am for you. You wear a pair of black jeans and long sleeve Henley like nothing I’ve ever dreamed. All I can think about is how I would do anything to make you smile. How hearing your laugh makes a day worthwhile for me. How I want to chase the taste of coffee and fags from your tongue just for a piece of you. And I can't talk to Louis about it, because you're his best friend. And a girl. And fuck."

Liam is pulling at her hair roughly, her eyes wild and cheeks pink.

"And why would you even think of me as anything more than Louis' girlfriend. Hell, you were the one who set us up so of course you're not interested in me. And then you were dating Perrie, who is so fit and artsy like you and I'm sure brill in bed and I've never even kissed a girl let alone fucked one."

Zayn will admit she whimpered at a visual of Liam fucking a girl. Most importantly her.

"And I thought that maybe if I wasn't around you, if I didn't have Louis around to stop me, I would do something as insanely stupid as telling you how I'm in love with you and have to listen to you reject me, I'd be okay. But I'm not, because I miss you and I'm miserable and Niall just keeps telling me what a fucking twat I am for being so god damned blind at what's right in front of me."

"You love me, Liam Payne?" Zayn whispers. Everything else has been white noise. Her heart stuttered on that confession and she can’t get past it.

"So damn much,"

Zayn's eyes narrow. "Who was that slag I saw you with today? At OUR coffee shop?" She can’t contain her growl at Liam's soft laughter.

"Sophia's not a slag."

"Sophia? Sounds like a slag's name to me," Zayn is pouting which only makes Liam begin to giggle harder.

"She's a friend of mine. I met het her when I was at the student health clinic. I'd…" Liam coughed in embarrassment as she looked into Zayn's eyes. "I'd gone in to talk to someone. About ... fancying a girl and just didn't know who I could turn to. Wanted some advice and she was there. We'd started talking and I'd told her all about you. She's kind of been this ..."

"Lesbian big sister?" Zayn suggests hopefully. Liam nods. 

"Kind of. Just an ear to listen and shoulder to cry on. She was the one who suggested I talk to Louis about it and be honest. That it didn't have to be scary to come to terms with being gay. Or at least bi."

 

"Maybe not a slag," Zayn concedes. She smiled as Liam grins at her. "Why didn't you tell me," she asked. "Lou said you heard me talking to Niall that day when I told her I was in love with you. You could have said something."

"You weren't talking to me, were you?" Liam shrugs. "You were both yelling and I didn't know if it was just something you were saying in the heat of an argument or you meant it. Thought I'd wait for you to talk to me but then you didn't. Just thought it was a one off."

Zayn shakes her head. "No. I've been so fucked up about it. Finally told Louis and thought I was gonna wee myself, didn't want him to hate me, I thought he was still in love with you."

Zayn felt hope bubble in her chest, the prospect of having everything she'd wanted.   
"M'sorry for being so stupid about this." She startles when Liam threads their fingers together.

"Do you still? Love me? I mean?"

"Yeah," Zayn breathed against Liam’s throat "I do."

"Good," Liam leans forward to softly press their mouths together in a tentative kiss. "Because I love you. I want to be with you." She deepens the kiss, licking into Zayn's mouth. "Wanna see your face when you come. When you wake up. When you fall asleep."

"Leeyum," Zayn’s moan is long and drawn out. She let the other girl pull her tee shirt off, leaving her only in a pair of shorts and her bra.

"You still want me to go?" Liam sassed, giggling when Zayn pulled her close.

"God, want you Leeyum. Always want you."

"Can I lick you out?" Liam asks coyly. "Always wanted to try it, see how you taste."

Zayn is up on her feet and sliding her shorts down her hips before she can breathe. With a kick of her foot, they're flying across the room and shortly after, her bra has joined them. Tugging at Liam's clothes, she pulls until she too finally gets naked and they're standing together, bodies pressed tightly to one another, kissing and stroking one another.

Liam drops to her knees in front of the couch, pushing Zayn to sit down. She props her heels up on the edge of the couch, opening her up so that she gets a filthy view of Zayn's spread open pussy. She's well groomed, her lips already wet and sticky from desire and Liam can smell her musk invading her senses. As she looks up, she sees Zayn smirking at her, her lips curled and her right hand fondling her tit seductively. Her left hand reaches down and she flicks at her own clit, thrusting her hips into Liam's face.

"Leeyum, please lick me. Want your mouth on me. Wanna come on your face."

She's nervous. Liam has never done this and she doesn't want it to be bad for Zayn. But her mouth is watering and she wants nothing more than to just shove her face into Zayn's pussy and stay there. Forever.

Her licks start out tentative, gentle. She flattens out her tongue and makes broad swipes up from her arse hole to her cunt, sucking and nibbling on her lips. Once she sucks Zayn's clit into her mouth, she begins sucking on it in earnest, sliding two fingers into her sopping wet hole. The sounds that her fingers are making inside of Zayn are pornographic, but it's nothing compared to the way Zayn’s writhing on the couch, begging and pleading with Liam for "more", "harder" and to 'make me come Leeyum." She points her tongue sharply and fucks it into Zayn's hole, trying to lick up as much of her juices as she can get, chin dripping with it.

"My clit babe, stroke my clit." 

Liam looks up to see both of Zayn's hands on her tits, her toes curling and stomach quivering. She knows that Zayn is close and wants to feel her lose all control, on Liam's mouth. With two fingers sliding into Zayn's pussy and her thumb circling her arse hole, Liam starts to nibble playfully on Zayn's clit and feels her clench around her fingers, coming hard and sharply against Liam's face.

Zayn's back arches off of the couch, her whole body tight like the strings of a bow and she yells, louder than Liam had ever dreamed she'd be when coming. When Zayn finally comes down, she's gasping for breath and grabbing for Liam, wanting her close.

Liam's own orgasm is hiding, all she needs is a little bit of friction on her pussy, on her clit and she knows she'll come. She wants nothing more than to come and have it be because of Zayn.

"Climb up babe, want you to ride me," Zayn croaks. She spreads her legs just a little and shifts Liam so that they're scissored together, their pussies grinding shamelessly between them.

Liam has honestly never felt anything like it in her life. Zayn is still so wet, so hot and sticky and her chest is heaving with the force of her orgasm. The feel of Zayn's hands on her hips grounds her and she begins to thrust against the other girl, feeling as Zayn's fingers slide in between them and start to rub fast and furious circles on Liam's clit. What does it is the look of pure concentration on Zayn's face. The way she leans in and takes Liam's nipple into her mouth, between her teeth and pulls. When she lets her nipple go, she reaches in and does it again, alternating between each breast until Liam has stuttered in their rhythm and is shouting, squirting all over Zayn's pussy which is still rubbing hers with purpose.

Zayn's eyes fly open and she comes again, her mouth open in a silent scream and her body taught, trembling violently.

Liam collapses on the couch beside Zayn, surprised as she feels her slide off onto the floor and in between her legs.

"Just...wann... just wanna taste," Zayn moans as she presses her face into the juncture of Liam's thighs and starts to suck and lick at her skin.

"M'always really sensitive Zee," Liam warns, her body still feeling aftershocks. "Can come two, maybe three times in a row..." Just as she's warning Zayn, Liam's back is off the couch and she's screaming, her second orgasm rocking her and shoving Zayn's face further into her pussy where she continues to mouth at her hole and clit.

When Zayn pulls away, she's got a look of raw wonder in her eyes. Her face is dripping wet and Liam looks almost embarrassed.

"So much, you came so much," Zayn whispers softly. She stops Liam from trying to hide her face.

"It's embarrassing," She groans as Zayn kisses her hungrily. 

"It's gorgeous. YOU'RE gorgeous." She amends. "God, I want you to sit on my face. Just sit on me and ride my face so hard, wanna drown in you."

'You don't think it's weird?" Liam asks. She sees Zayn's eyes narrow.

"Did Louis think it was weird?" And if anything, THAT was weird, exchanging sexual techniques with his best friend's ex-girlfriend.

Liam blushes as she grinned. "No. Loved it, said it was sexy."

"He wasn't wrong about that," Zayn kissed the embarrassment off of Liam's face. "Gonna have so much fun making you come. Make you ruin your pretty little knickers, gonna make you come in my mouth and then kiss you with it."

She's cackling at the embarrassed blush on Liam's face when her phone chimes, indicating a text. Zayn looks at it, not surprised to see Louis' name on her screen.

"Hope your talk went well. Have fun. Clean up after yourselves, Liam comes like fucking Niagara Falls and I know you're a dirty slag when you're horny."

"Is this how it's going to be?" Liam jokes when she reads over Zayn's shoulder. Zayn can see by the expression in her eyes that she's not mad, just fond.

"You knew what you were signing up for," she gives by means of an answer. Liam only nods.

"True."

It wasn't until they had fully regained the use of their limbs that Zayn got up, pulling Liam to her feet behind her. "Come on, we need to shower. And I've always dreamed about fucking you in the shower."

"Your bed," Liam confessed.

Zayn grinned. "The footie locker after practice."

Zayn's phone interrupted their list, followed shortly by Liam's. There were messages from Harry and Niall respectively staring up at them, both the same picture. The two girls giving them the thumbs up. 

Harry's caption said "Finally, Congratulations!" Niall’s read "about Fecking time!!! Get in there Payno."

When Liam looks up she sees Zayn leering at her hungrily.

"Well Payno, come on. Get in here."

As they go into Zayn’s room and move to crawl into her bed, Zayn takes a moment to pinch herself. She can’t believe that Liam is there with her. That she’s there FOR her and she’s about to have everything she’s always wanted. When they’re curled up in her bed, Liam’s leg between hers, their hands clasped together and Liam’s mouth pressing soft kisses up Zayn’s jaw, Zayn lets herself fully relax.

“You know I meant it right, that I love you? That I think I always have?”

Liam gives her a shy nod, her smile beautiful, eyes dancing with happiness. “I think …I think it’s been the same for me. I didn’t know what it was for so long, and then when I realized it I couldn’t understand how I’d missed it.” Liam takes a deep breath and kisses Zayn with an intensity that has Zayn’s toes curling. “I just never thought I’d get to have you like this. That you could want me like this.”

“I’ve never wanted anyone like this. Only you Leeyum.” Zayn’s stomach flutters at the blush on Liam’s face.

“Only you Zee. I love you.”


End file.
